I hate it...but then again I don't want it to stop

I had a dream of "him" again last night... It's so weird...

Sergio and I are on my back lot putting finishing touches on the windows of a storage building. It's a huge 20 x 40 workshop. I walk outside of the shop and it just so happens that my house and land is across the street where the bus stop is for high school kids. "His" youngest cuts through my yard to get through to the main road so he can walk home. I don't mind, all the kids do it and they think I'm cool cause I give them a cigarette or a light sometimes when they need one... (yeah bad I know)

I know where "He" lives, it isn't far... The condominium complex is just up the road. he's moved at least twice since I've last spoke to him and I freaked out that he was so close to me. He has no clue I'm near... Or does he?

I was walking my little Yorkie(i have a shitzu and a chihuahua- go figure) near his complex one day and "his" wife came outside. She smiled at the cuteness of the dog, grabbed something out of her car and went back inside...

I flash to a scene where once "he" was waiting near the bus stop for his kid, sitting in his white SUV, eating a sandwich like it was the most natural thing in the world... still as beautiful as ever...

His two "grown" sons sometimes ride by in their dad's car squealing tires and jamming that terrible alternative mosh pit music... I wonder how "he" stands that over his more relaxed choice of tunes?

I am now in a park... Not sure where but it's crazy because "he's" here too with the whole family... He sees me... He sends some kid he doesn't even know over to me with a soccer ball... I look down at this little dark haired boy reaching out the ball to me and he says, "that man said read this"...

I look on the ball and it's "his" handwriting... I would recognize it in my sleep... It simply reads,

"I am so honored that you still love me...I see you in my dreams too"...

I hand the ball back to the kid telling him that the writing will wear off and not to be mad. He says, "that's ok, he gave me 5 bucks to let him write on it"... The boy runs off and I shyly look "his" way... He's looking off in the horizon straight ahead of him, but he's smiling that beautiful sexy smile as if to confirm that we did indeed "share a much needed, direly desired...stolen moment"...

then I wake up... I look around my bedroom and instantly saddened that I'm not really there...

I go make coffee and the dream fades...

God's Peace...