"I can't say that I'm surprised!" Claire said to her friend on the other end of the phone.
"It's been over 2 years now, why shouldn't they get married?"
"Claire, let it go, haven't you moved on?" "You are with Gabriel now!"
Claire sighed deeply. "I know Janice but I always have it in the back of my mind, "He was my husband supposedly forever."
"Yeah, well you need to let that go back into whatever recesses of your mind it came from before you lose the nice man you have now", replied Janice
"You are right", she said. "What's done is done and I can't change it."
"I do love Gabby so much", Claire said faintly.
"Oh Claire honey, that's my other line, I'll call ya later", Janice said.
After they hung up with one another, Claire sat looking out of her front window where she had been sitting while on the phone with Janice. All sorts of thoughts were going through her mind ever since the announcement had slipped from her young daughter's mouth that her father and his girlfriend were going to be married soon.
"I should get drunk as hell and go crash the shit out of that bash" she said to herself grinning.
Claire shook her head knowing she would do no such thing. She would in no way let it be known that he fazed her in the least. Even though it was obvious he not only had affected her immensely but also had taken a piece of her heart with him. Their life together for more than a decade was over and the only thing that had blossomed from it was their soon to be 13 year old son, and 11 year old daughter.
Thoughts of the children came to mind and Claire was taken back to a time when things were nice between she and her ex. Maybe not perfect but life had certainly shown an air of sweetness and passion.
Claire had been raised in a very strict household, never having the likes of boyfriends or even many friends for that matter. Her mother didn't really like other people in the house especially since she slept during the day because of working the night shift as a nurse at the local hospital. Claire's father had died when she had been only 12 and after that any happy memories of her childhood seemed very few.
Claire was 18 when she moved out of her mother's home and in with her sister. It was a time when Claire was trying to find her way into adulthood and everything she did seemed to be against her mother's wishes so she moved out. After getting settled into her room at her sister's home, she went out with one of her friends one night and that's when she met "him".
Chris was a 24 year old biker type guy with beautiful brown eyes and dark hair just a tad past his shoulders. He had a deep set jaw line and was the most beautiful man Claire had ever laid eyes on. She was in love from that moment on and through the years, even with the ups and downs of their life that feeling only intensified.
It wasn't long before Claire learned that their personalities were mismatched and instead of growing closer with time, all they seemed to do was grow further apart. After the children came, the flaws in each of them seemed to not matter as much and the focus was poured into the rearing of the children.
Time passed and the children grew. Claire and Chris had alot of nice moments. Times where they would laugh over the children's antics or even just laughing together over something as small as a commercial on television. However, it wasn't long before Chris grew antsy and bored with the settled rut of family life and just a few years into their marriage he sought out other females.
Soon Claire was feeling depressed and it seemed nothing she did helped her marriage. It wasn't long before she started filling the huge void left by her absent husband with online chat.
Suddenly the nights didn't seem so lonely because now she had a whole new world opened up to her that seemed to have tons of people in the same situation as she.
That's how it went for a few years. The nights when Chris was home sitting in front of the television blocking the whole world out, Claire would be online in chat rooms finding people to chat with.
That's when Claire met Renay. Renay was 7 years younger than she but had more wisdom and character than anyone she had ever met. He lived in England and spoke of it fondly. They talked or rather typed online for hours to each other about music and books and life in general. When Claire had a bad moment she could always depend on Renay to get her out of her mood. He would try to make her laugh and always showed such concern for her well being.
For 3 years Renay was a constant in Claire's life. They didn't speak every single day but they were always there for one another. He never tried any of the perversions that some men sought out online with her and Claire was grateful that he saw in her something that had nothing to do with sex.
Within a few months of their friendship Renay had told Claire about his life and that he was ill. He had a tumor in his brain along with a series of other ailments that at times had him in terrible pain. Some nights Renay had confessed to Claire that he had not been out of bed for several days. Claire felt so bad for her friend but when she requested that he allow her to come to England and tend to him in some way, he wouldn't hear of it and that was how it went for months which turned into years.
One night when Claire and Renay were talking online, she could sense the urgency in his typing and see that he was trying to let her know that there wasn't much time left for him. They spoke about the future and how much they cared for one another. Claire begged him that when he got to heaven if he could he would somehow let her know that he was alright.
A week later his sister emailed her a simple note to let her know that he had indeed passed away. Claire hadn't cried over Renay then but soon she started to grieve and there was no one she could share it with. Months passed and she had no one now to which to share her loneliness with. She tried to search online for someone and met quite a few people but none of them seemed to have the emotional connection she longed for like she had in Renay.
Soon her quest became intense to find someone to fill the void but no one ever stayed for very long. During this time She and Chris were hardly speaking and he had began making his plans to leave her. There was nothing Claire could do so she just sat back and waited. She watched and waited and in between she chatted. Sure she begged him at times not to leave but she could sense that his mind was set and there was nothing left between them to hang on to.