I look at the clock... He's late again... He hasn't binged lately and I've been feeling the next episode coming... He's probably left work early to stop off at the nearest convenience store to pick up a case of beer, drive to a familiar deserted space probably in some park or cemetery to tie one on...
I prepare for the worst... I know when he eventually comes home there will be some sort of hell to pay, some indiscretion that I have done that will have him throwing defamation at me and slinging his fists at whatever part of my body he can get aim to...
It's amazing to me how a single human being can have such different personalities all within one brain... The loving man I fell hopelessly in love with so many years ago at most times and then to a demon of a man rage-filled and always with the strong putrid scent of rotted beer on his breath...
Sometimes he is a jolly drunk just wanting to be the life of the party and often times I have cursed myself for not letting him off the hook instead of pushing him out of his jovial mood by my constant nagging...
I'm pulled away from my thoughts with the sound of his car engine pulling into the drive... He's home...
Relief that he made it home safely, along with panic of the unknown sets in...
Thank God the children are on sleep-overs with friends...
What could he possibly have in store for me tonight?...
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