First off you'll be disappointed to hear that not only did "S" not apologize, but he turned the tables on me and wouldn't answer the phone the next day when I was dying to talk to him...
I figured that after one day of us not talking he would understand and take the hint that I was angry and he'd just leave a voice mail that he was sorry and we could get back to being in love and all that...
No, that didn't happen... The next day I was "jonesing" so bad to talk to him that I called but he didn't answer... I said, "ok, he's punishing me for a little while he'll answer later"... No, he wouldn't answer until finally after midnight Friday night... He was a bit pissed off and told me that I was lucky he answered the phone and the next time I did that to him he would punish me for a week...
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... I wanted to scream shit at him but he kept threatening to hang up the phone whenever my voice got an angry tone to it so finally I was able to get his attitude changed and he told me he missed me and loved me and so I'm validated again I suppose enough in my mind for a while and after a bit of talking calmly he in as much as he could, apologized for saying what he did about my friend...
So... This weekend was so wonderful... My family came to visit me this weekend... Little Landon was so positively sweet... "Rain" let me play "Mommy" to him for a little while and that was fun...
I think I've mentioned in past posts how it is with my family... My biological family consists mainly of My Aunt and her Husband, their 5 children and 5 grandchildren with "RAIN" being my Aunt's youngest daughter...
Ok so whenever My Aunt Janet, Me, and Rain get together, we have what I can only describe as the best time in my life... Never have I ever laughed as hard or as long as when I am with them... I mean so hard that we all three have literally peed our pants and had to hold our bellies from laughing so hard... Ok so like I said, we had so much fun this weekend and I got my laugh fix for a while...
"S" got introduced to them by telephone this weekend and then "Rain" and he were talking online together on the cam last night... They were fast buds' and I was proud that the man I love and My favorite person in the world seemed to like one another from the start... Of course, "RAIN" is that type of friendly person and watching her with him and again when she met my landlord today, made me see that she really has a precious spirit about her...
My Aunt "Janet" is a very laid back person... She is shy at first but after she gets to know you, she will make you laugh your ass off about things... It's amazing watching her 3 daughters is like history repeating itself... Her oldest is just like my biological mother... Her middle daughter is like my other Aunt... Then Her youngest, "Rain" and she are exactly alike...
Then we get to her Son... Here's where it gets freaky...
Let me just say that a few hundred years ago it was normal practice for first cousins to marry so don't be getting all pukey and stuff about what I'm about to write...
Everytime I have ever gotten around my cousin "Wilson", I have always felt weird...He's so damn SEXY... I mean not just SEXY, he drips it... You ever met someone that just had pure sexiness dripping from their pores?... well anyway this guy does... We are a few years apart, me being the oldest... His personality isn't anything remotely outlandish, He doesn't flaunt his charisma or good looks around, in fact he's actually very quiet... So for whatever reason I have psyched my brain up to feel this way when I'm around him, I wish it would go away but it never does... It's kinda cool whenever I have been around him to have this secret crush on him and fantasize about him and he doesn't have a damn clue about it... AM I NOT THE SICKEST INDIVIDUAL? Damn Denise sometimes you just need to keep shit to yourself...
Ok so that gets me to the point I wanted to write about...
Long story short, My cousin "wilson" made a mistake, and he's in prison for a couple of years... I'm not going into the details but let's just say that when he serves his time I really don't think he'll ever go back... From what I do know about "Wilson", I know he is like a bird... If I had to label him, he would definitely be an Eagle... Free spirited, beautiful and non-threatening... Whereas not like a Hawk that would be more fierce and Edgy... Either case, I can see how caged "Wilson" feels...
So, We went to see him this weekend...
Visitation was for 5 hours... When he walked in I was so surprised because I hadn't seen him for at least 2 years and he had gained so much weight... well not weight, but bulk from working out... "WOW"... he was so damn happy to see his family... I felt like I was intruding because I'm not really his immediate family... But it was ok and we soon settled into a nice visit...
Y'all, I have to describe the scene in this place though... You walk into this main room that has clusters of chairs set up into squares... All of the inmates are in a uniform and you can pick them out easily... I got so choked up by their faces... You look at them and you wonder what exactly it was that got them put into this place, and then you see how "Fucking" ecstaticly happy they are, because their family, friends or whomever are there to visit them...
It was spooky folks because you can see in their faces that for those few brief hours how they just want to grab up their visitor and stuff them inside their shirt so they can take a piece of "OUTSIDE LIFE" with them... I think this is doubly so for "Wilson"...
I feel so terrible for all of them and think that of all the things in life how hard it must be to live in this assembly line of sorts to do the same things day in and day out just to make time go by as fast as it can... Yet a lot of us on the outside of the prison are wanting time to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN...
Hmmmm... I was talking to "S" about this and he was telling me to think about the people who don't get visitors, and how we probably don't realize how important it is to an inmate to know that there is someone, anyone, out there that they can actually say, "I have so and so out there waiting on me"...
I think the most tear jerking moment for me is when I saw "Wilson" on the stairs leading back to his "reality" lingering and waving at us in the parking lot just savoring the last few seconds he had with us...
So to all of you out there that have someone in prison, family, friend, lover...
I know how hard it must be not only for them but also for YOU...
God's Peace!
Denise
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