I'm Nervous as Hell...

It hasn't really hit me until recently that I am actually going to be meeting the man of my dreams in just a few days...

We talk about what we feel will be the scenario when I walk off that plane and see him and he sees me...

I am freaking out...

A major part of me can see how at first it will be awkward because here we are, now in the raw with one another after having shared so much these last few weeks with one another, and now we'll be taking it from telephone and computer into face to face interaction...

Folks I'm just hoping that I don't faint or even worse, puke all over his shoes...and no I have never done either of those things before to a person but there's always a first...

Suppose he takes one look at me and says, "Whoa, Girlfriend... that camera was very complimenting to you or something because honeychild you are one ugly bitch in person"...

I have expressed to him numerous times that I am very shy in person until I get warmed up...

Y'all I just want it to be so perfect...

Remember the scene in "My best friend's wedding" when she was sitting on the cell phone talking to her gay best friend and he said things like how he can imagine her sitting in her lavendar gown not having touched her cake and strumming her fingers on the table... Then she looks around the room because she knows she never told him the color of her dress... Then she sees the crowd part and he appears and it's all mushy and touchy as they meet up together...

I want that... "S" and I talked about how I will come off of the plane and be put out because I'll be impatiently waiting when I don't see him instantly... I'll call him on my cell phone and ask him, "Where the hell are you?"... He'll say that he's running late and to just wait for him... Then with a smile in his voice say, "by the way that outfit looks very good on you"... I'll scan the room grinning from ear to ear begging him to show himself, and when I finally lay eyes upon him I hang the phone up as we walk to get to one another smiling shyly...

But Then What?

What the fuck do I say? What will he say?

Dear God I hope it comes to him to be the type to put me at ease quickly...
I wish there was an anti-anxiety tablet I could take but I'm afraid to take anything thinking that I'll be so out of commission I would then definitely screw it all up and look like a total idiot...

I thought about having a drink before I got on my departing flight to him but then thought I might get ill and that would be horrible too...

Hell I don't know... A part of me knows that without a doubt it will be ok...

We'll be ok... It'll be fine... Right???

I hope y'all are ok... Great weekend to you...

Denise