Damn what a bland title that is up there, but I couldn't think of anything else...
I thought I'd tell y'all first that I did some shit here at work that was against policy and just about got my ass fired... Long story short, it's over with now and I'm plugging along even though after last night thinking about it all night, I was resolved to just be fired...
I'm sure it won't be the last close call I make regarding my job either because basically everything is against policy when you work for a Government office...
Anyway who cares about that, the biggest thing that just absolutely causes me to well up in complete emotional turmoil is "Beloved"... (Shutup... I know whatchall thinking, "Oh lord Denise, not "BEEEE LOVVVEDDD" againnnn..)
I guess I'll admit that last night as I stayed up worrying about my "faux paus" at work, I suddenly felt the urge to talk to someone that knows me better than I know myself which would be "beloved"... Well, I guess I didn't feel at all creepy about it being almost 3am and felt that he'd just be sleeping and that wouldn't be intruding upon him, so surely he'd answer...
Nah, that didn't happen so I called two more times in case he just needed a jolting nudge to wake up and answer my damn phone call but hell no I ended up leaving a message: as follows:
"Hey"... [nervous breathing] "First off, I know it's late but I can't sleep and I'm not psycho or anything [sigh](that shit bothers me that he thinks that of me y'all so I constantly reassure him of the opposite)but I did a major fuck up at work and I'm pretty sure I'm getting fired tomorrow so I think I'm going to just sell all my shit and move home to Georgia. [quick breath]" "I don't really wanna move back to Georgia cause I wanna stay here and damn I wish I could talk to you because you are my best friend and you know me better than anyone!" [regretful sigh] "Ok I'm sorry for calling so late [whisper in my head to tell him that I love him, but don't think I voiced it] Goodnight."
But he did call me this morning, and man was I in hog heaven cause he was nice to me... I think he secretly wanted to call me a dumbass when I relayed why I might be getting fired, but he didn't and we ended the short conversation with him saying he'd call me later...
ok so he called me earlier and I really don't remember much of the conversation after he told me "He did love me".... YEAH BABYYYYYYY!!! he still loves me y'all and that's all that matters because a lot can be done to repair this as long as he loves me...
I gotta go, all I can think of is what song I can send to him to let him know what I'm feeling...
Just to let y'all know, I'm exiting this with my heart about to dance out of my chest with being IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Oh shit, I didn't even post this yet and he's calling me right now... HOT DAMNNNNN!!!
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