It's time to move on...
I know that I said that I really do want to be with "beloved" and I really deep down don't want to give up on the "possibility" and God help me but I feel like if I just had one more chance to fix things I'd make it right... I KNOW I WOULD, but I honestly think he's done and it's probably for the best... He doesn't even come read my blog anymore so that's like definitely the last sign of good riddance...
I've gathered from those songs that he meant I'll find love somewhere... I don't think he meant with him and I understand it now...
I've tried to communicate with him but it's one sided and this sinking feeling is now taking over that it isn't working and I just need to move on...
I will, I know I will... I'm a pretty strong person... It might take me a while and there will probably be a few more posts on here to vent my frustration about the situation, but I'll get there...
In other news, I went to the track with Brutus Sunday, but "that guy" wasn't there so nothing to report on that tidbit not that there was much to begin with...
A weird phone message from "HIM"... I didn't call back and I'm pretty proud of myself for not jumping into that frying pan of "Nothingness" but damn I wanna call for some totally sicko reason, but I definitely won't... I REFUSE TO PUT MYSELF IN THAT SPIDER WEB...
Going out Friday night with "best friend", and ya damn right I'm going to pitch a drunk... I'm not driving so you can believe I'm going to be quite polluted... Don't be shaking your heads y'all, I deserve some "escaping reality" for a night...
aghhhhh.. another memory just popped in my head... us talking on the phone and "beloved" saying to me; "Hey beautiful"... [sniff sniff]... I don't reckon he's thinking that these days huh?
Here's hoping you have someone to call you Beautiful...
God's Sincere Peace!
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