It's Over...

Yep.. You heard right... Beware.. Some major venting is about to commence!!!

He told me that he didn't have children this weekend but suddenly his children got brought up as far as "well, my son's basketball game is this day, and my daughter's is this day".. So I knew he was just floundering and probably would end up leaving me to my own devices this weekend instead of coming to visit like he said he would and so I just finally left him a message that I Loved him, I Want him, and I need him but.. Not like this... It's over and I'm going to go find someone else...

Fortunately, I kinda saw it coming so I made a back up plan and am going to go see my pregnant cousin in Savannah for the weekend... My aunt and my cousin will fix me up and make me feel better.. They are great for nursing a broken heart...

I swear on my soul that I honestly tried with this guy y'all... He just wouldn't budge... I think he is so emotionally damaged that I couldn't break through...

DAMN I TRIED SOOOO FREAKING HARD...But at least I won't wonder for the rest of my life about that guy that I had known for these years if something would have come of it...

I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure he has things going on in his town that I could never be a part of and he had never had any intention of including me in..

That's cool... I'm ok.. Well, not really, I'm borderline PISSED OFF AS HELL because for one thing I think it would have been such a fabulous love affair, but also borderline EMOTIONAL WRECK because all these pieces of my heart I have given away makes me have very little left... That is not a GOOD THING!

Ok so.. I'm leaving for the weekend... I'm sorry I can't keep something stable in my life and have beautiful posts of Love and Joy to share with y'all..

I keep thinking of the great Christmas time I would have had this year with boyfriend and both of our kids all around the tree and decorating, Thanksgiving.. DAMN I AM SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SAD..... "TEARS NOW POURING" "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Maybe one day, because above all things.. I STILL HAVE FAITH AND HOPE AND LOVE...

Peace..