Sunny Days Ahead...

I'm back.. Bruised but not Beaten!

We have spoken ("new guy" and I) but it is a situation that I have not sorted out, and as Forest Gump said, "That's all I gotta say about that".

I titled this Sunny Days Ahead because I am optimistic that indeed those days are coming. I hate that I am so down-trodden these days but when you think about it really anyone would be. I start out with a relationship thinking everything is going good only to have my bubble busted and my mind and heart is suddenly jolted to what I hate to say is reality staring you dead in the face and all I feel is that it is my destiny to never have the complete satisfaction of being in a committed and loving --oh fuck it.. Y'all don't need to hear me whining.. I am really ok with it... I have learned over the years that you can't force something that just isn't meant to be.

I have mentioned briefly about an old friend from "now serving date #26" post coming back into the picture, and I am totally unsure where that is going. All I do know is that he seems to be really sincere in wanting to be my friend. I am torn between wanting to start something up with him and seeing where it will go, but 99% of me really wants to keep him as my good friend. You see, when they are just my friend, I don't get the crazies swimming in my head, and my true self remains constant and believe me, my true self is sooooo much better than that silly heart stricken woman that turns into a clingy, unconfident, immature bitch. God help those who have suffered under that woman's thumb. Anyway I guess I don't know anything else to tell about "guy friend" either. My best friend and I are going out Saturday night and supposedly he has said he will be there, but as much as I hate to doubt him, I am pretty positive he will bail out of that initial meeting as well just like in the past setups to meet.

I haven't written about "HIM" in a while, and in this instance I am definitely not saving the "best for last" because he is not worth the time to even expend talking about, but to update, he has been calling for the last few days to smooth over a situation that he created and I have been ignoring his phone calls and messages. I knew at some time in my life I would get to the point of not giving a damn, and I most definitely have gotten there. I told him he was a piece of trash and that I no longer wanted to be associated with him at all. I wish that people could look back over their pasts and remember something good and kind about the dealings they've had with others and not hold such hard feelings. Life is too fucking short to be bottling up so much negativity within.

Things that make me smile today;

Hearing my children's laugh when they get really tickled about something.

Watching Brutus try to hump the cat while she is trying to eat and him getting frustrated, then going after his stuffed dog, clamping his teeth down on the red cloth tongue for leverage and giving it his all, then smelling where he has been thinking he had done something huge for the damn stuffed toy.
(<===ya'd have to be there to laugh at that but it's funny as hell)

The relaxed feeling I get after having a good work out at the gym and then strutting myself to the tanning bed realizing that even though no one has seen the fruits of my labor I feel good about it.

Thinking that somewhere, out there in this big world, someone might actually be thinking about me as this exact moment in time and smiling because I made some sort of positive difference no matter how big or small in their lives.

Be well! Get out there and make some sort of difference to someone!!! Whether it be the begger on the street, or the neighbor's dog, your significant other, ANYONE...SOMEONE.. GO MAKE SOMEONE SMILE....

GO..

RIGHT NOW..

DO IT...