Whatever happened to the courtesy phone call you are supposed to receive from a guy who supposedly thought you were almost as good as sliced bread and then suddenly he disappears off the face of the planet? Is this his way of saying he doesn't want to see you anymore? That was inadequate dude anyway so I shouldn't care but for some reason it is killing me to find out what the hell I did wrong.
What about Mr. Blast from the past talking shit in your ear on the phone for a few days, reels you in to where you can't stop thinking of them, and then goes back into hibernation.
Oh Well... Ya know what? Fuck Em!!...
I ended up on a date Friday night and then saw him again on Saturday and Sunday...
Whack huh?
He is really cool. He brought me flowers Friday night and Last night and I have to admit, I've never received flowers in all of my life so forgive me if I'm floating around on cloud nine for the next few days.
Of course you all know what will happen. It will start to fizzle out on my side because he is getting too close. My best friend and I talked a long time about it and she seems to think that I really don't want anything to work out.
It's like somewhere inside of me I don't feel worthy enough for someone to care about me and I seem to find ways to weasel out of a relationship once it gets too far in my comfort zone.
She's right. As soon as the guy starts liking me, I distance myself and then it fades away. You take "him" for example. There was a time and I know y'all aren't going to believe me because since I've started this blog he hasn't ever shown that part of himself, but at one time, he would send like 40 text messages and probably 10 phone calls a day and when he would do that, I would make myself invisible and then casually come back into the picture again when I was feeling that he might not be paying me enough attention.
This guy I saw all weekend, He is the one that is sick. I haven't given it much thought, but I need to realize that things could work out and I end up falling head over heels and then he dies. Man I think that might kill me. I guess I need to just live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
We are going to see one another on Tuesday so I am hoping I'll have all this exciting shit to write about. He has asked me to meet his co-workers that are his best friends, and his 7 year old son, but I told him I am not ready to do that as of yet but then last night contemplated to myself why the hell not since we are in fast forward mode anyway. Oh well, like I said there will be more to the story after Tuesday night. Stay tuned.
Peace to you and yours!
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