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Have I mentioned that I like women?

I am not so sure if I like all that frilly talk about makeup and handbags and shoes, I feel happy when I don't even have to wear shoes... But regardless, I love me some women!

Have you looked at a woman's body? I mean really looked at it. God sho' nuff' knew what he was doing.

Now I'm 5'11 and 210 pounds so I am not thin by any means. I am a 30.1 according to the obesity charts and anything over 30 is obese. Anyway, screw them! I have some killer muscles in my legs from the treadmill, my butt though not J'lo's is not unpleasant either. I have a ways to go, I'm happy with myself overall. I wish I could change my personality disorders but that's a whole other blog in itself.

I don't think I've discussed the reasoning behind my fear of actually getting into a relationship with a woman and becoming a full fledged lesbian.

I am scared of going to HELL!

Now wait before you say.. "Ahhh Jeez.. You just had to go there didn't ya?"

It says it plainly and boldly in the bible that Homosexuality is a sin. It's an abomination against God.. I don't want to do anything bad in God's eyes at all..

Much less abominate.. (What exactly is that anyway?)

I just have a little problem about this.. Go with me for a minute...

Ok So Homosexuality is a sin right? For arguments sake, lets just say it is...

What about all the other things I'm doing that is a sin?

Will I receive fewer "God's Scorn licks" from the proverbial switch if I commit different types of sins?

I THINK NOT...

I think all sin is the same... Whether you lie a little lie... or whether you make love with a member of the same sex.

So can y'all see my plight? Please see it.. Pleaseeeee....

I'm just so screwed up with the thought process. I really... really... want to have a woman to love. It just seems that it will be a comfortable fit in my life (I know.. maybe life is not about MY way but God's Way) and that "you win" bell will go off in my head that says "FINALLY" and I will feel that emotional contentment I've been looking for my whole life.

Feel free to jump in anytime folks... I am seriously having a bad problem with this.

God says No! I say pleaseeeeee and lately it's just a matter of figuring out how to justify it enough to GO through WITH IT...

Hell I went through the sleeping with a married man deal.. What's the difference? That is one of the Biggie Bible No NO's!

Ok Ok.. enough for now.. Leaving for DA BEACHHHHHH in DA MOR... NINNNN!

If you Read..

If you Comprehended..

If you didn't curse me, or even if you did..

I'd really love some feedback. I swear this has been my whole reasoning behind why I never have been able to go through with actually having a relationship with a woman. I just know I'll fall head over heels and then God will make me give her back.. Then I'd be like.. NOOOOO.. I WANT THIS FOR ME... and then I'll be all burnt up and hideous and grossed out cause I'm in HELL!

Oh shit... I just thought of something...What if I'm not attractive to women? There are a lot of men I am not attractive to, but I do get some appreciative looks every now and then... I was under the impression though that since there aren't a whole bunch of lesbians to begin with, wouldn't one be invited into the fold to add to the numbers as long as they are reasonably appropriate? Also could someone tell me the secret code to getting the women in the lesbian chatrooms to talk to me? Do I have to go through an initiation process?

BE WELL! HOLLER ATCHA LATAH!