Monday... Monday..

What's the use in me wasting my time and brainwaves thinking of him? Mondays are like this. For some reason it seems worse on Mondays. I swear on my life I try to make him go away from my thoughts but he keeps popping up where ever I go.

I worked on a project today and not only was one of the lists of data showing his first name, I get a few lines down and damned if his last name wasn't on it. I get in my car and what's playing but one of his favorite songs: Los Lonely Boy's "Heaven"...

Oh shit and at lunch today, a man walked in with same build and hair as him I looked dead at him and almost cried. No I'm not imagining it. It really is all around me.

My ex used to say that same thing about trying to stay away from alcohol. No matter where he went it was always around. I never believed him but once when we were vacationing in Florida where no one knew us, damned if a guy we never saw before didn't walk up to us as we were sitting in our car and offered him a beer.

Anyway, I'm just crabby tonight I guess. I met this guy a few weeks ago and have been very standoffish because I mean I'm 36 and he's only 28. I am pretty sure it isn't going anywhere. Sure enough, I gave him enough rope and he hung himself with it saying exactly what I figured given enough time he'd end up saying. "something sexual".

Now I am no prude believe me please, but I cannot just go to bed with someone with no feelings for them. I shall never be someone's booty call. Oh shit what if I was "his". (Of course you were, you dummy!)

Ok so, where are my creative juices? Why does everyone else's blog read so much better than mine. I have a million things to write about. Sometimes funny shit does actually happen to me. Not to mention my dreams, I have some off the wall dreams. I need to remember them and write them in here. They usually have a sexual nature to them. Because I think subconsciously I miss sex. What am I saying, wide friggin awake I miss sex... sex good... emotions bad... leave emotions in head.. buy vibrator... problem solved... NOT!