And so it was... Friday Night.. My roommate and I paid our cover and found a seat at a table. Him with a Budlight and me with my normal Crown and Seven in a tall glass. In my defense, tall glasses of this drink signify 98% sprite and 2% crown.. Right?
I have learned the secret of trying to find a bar with more than a few people. You have to wait until well after 10 pm. I suppose people go eat and movies, get their kids settled or something, before they head out to get their "drunk on".
Advance about 2 hours.... 3 beers later for my roommate and 3 drinks later for me, not to mention the few shots thrown to us. The first shots we did was (or is it were) called "Smurf Piss" which to me tasted like a very watered down blue gatorade. (Yuck!) Then we tried the Jagermeister concoctions. (http://www.snopes.com/business/secret/jagermeister.asp) (could someone teach me how to label these links instead of posting the whole address?)
Anyway, the bar is filling up now. My roommate looks at me and winks and says.. "I am feeling purt dam guud". To which I reply "Yeah? I have a little buzz myself"
Now let me tell you the course of events that played out during the rest of the night.
My next door neighbor is the town drunk. However, she is also the richest person in my town. At 84 years old, she has a few loose screws and would not hesitate to tell you to "kiss her ass" and god forbid watch out or she will put a hit out on you with her connections with the "Iiii Talian Mafia" (as she pronounces it) if you piss her off.
The story is, Her grandfather owned thousands and thousands of acres in the town, most of it she inherited and now leases to stores such as Walmart and Lowe's.
Ok sorry let me get on with it...
So my neighbor walks into the bar with her cane and my roommate ribs me because he knows that as soon as she sees me she'll make her way to us. I manage to hide from her view (for a little while) and in a few minutes she was laughing it up hysterically at the bar with her Marguerite in hand.
My roommate, got his friend to ask me to dance. Well, first off, I do not dance. Granted, with a few drinks in me I can become a freaky barstool bee-bopper, but other than that, I readily admit that "this white girl aint got NO rhythm". So I begged off and he eventually took his place standing at the back of the bar.
Then, two guys came in together and one of them (talk about cuteeeeeeee).. asked if they could sit with me. (Having been abandoned moments before by my roommate and left alone with 2 empty bar stools) so we did quick introductions and me and cute guy proceeded to flirt incessantly.
He asked me to dance several times and I told him there was no way. So he stood me up (my drunk ass) and we slow danced right at the table. Now as intoxicated as I was, my self-conscious, lacking confidence personality still peeked it's ugly head and I immediately realized I was making a huge fool of myself, I broke away from him and his incredible blue eyes and parked my ass back in my seat.
Folks, I wish I had the brevity to be bold and dance.. because I think I would love it. The girls and guys that were gathered in groups on the dance floor were getting their "groove on" not caring what others were seeing or thinking of them.
DAMNIT.. I want to be a GROOVE GIRL too...
Nevertheless, I talked a bit more with cutie and his friend and then this sketchy looking dude that I found out was a drug dealer(affirmed when I called my ex with my tale of the night.. who happens to know everyone in this town) pulled up a seat to join us.
One look at him and I knew these guys had to be his cohorts and I didn't want anything to do with that. So by this time it was like 3am and I finally looked at my roommate and said.. "I'm ready to go". Stupid me didn't even say goodbye or anything. I just closed out my tab and walked out the door.
My roommate, along with a buddy of his riding along dropped me off at home and I didn't see my him again until last night when he came home from work.
And so it is... another scene from my so called "LIFE" ..
Yeah... Yeah... I know.. I can't help that I didn't have anything juicy to report..
Justs the facts ma'am!
Ps: If it is any consolation, before I came to my senses during the dance, somehow cutie managed to roam his hands past any zone that would deem fitting of a "nice girl"!
No comments:
Post a Comment