HUMP DAY

It is amazing to me how in one day things change a little. Not drastically improved but a bit better. After last nights reminiscing over "him", I woke up feeling quite down. On my drive to work this morning, I had this overwhelming desire to call him. Granted I have that desire so much but usually am able to work myself out of it but this time I justified it enough in my mind, picked up the cell, and called.

He didn't answer as expected and I didn't wait for his VM. But lo and behold folks, guess who calls back 10 minutes later? YESSSSSSSSSS... YIPPIE YOW HOOEYYYYYYY.. seems he was in the shower when I called......................................... OOPS! sorry.. Visualization interference for a moment..

Well, I wish I could lie and say that he finally broke down and confessed his true feelings of how his days aren't "FULLY TASTED" without me in them. But alas, he was very polite and well.. friendly... yes.. friendly.. and God y'all just hearing his voice.. I'm sorry but if loving him is a crime then put me under the jail cell because I LOVE THIS MAN.... and even though I might be a foolish girl and created a fantasy out of what was just a fling.. (Oh please god don't let it have been just that) I miss him.. and from our phone call this morning, it is going to take an act of God and some serious "work" to put us back into some phase of caring with each other again. Well, what I mean is.. it's going to take something I might not have within me to tear down his wall that he put back up again to try to get back into his heart.

ewww ok enough.. i'm making my own self pukey... Anyway you get the gist of it....

SUMMED UP... I have met some really nice guys in real time and online in the months that I have been "single" again, but none of them do I allow to penetrate my mind much less what's left of my heart, because I am positive that at this time in my life.. I don't want to give up the "WHAT IF" in regards to "HIM"...

In other news, my children will be arriving in 3 days. (CANNOT WAIT to put my arms around them boogerheads) I say 3 because it is after midnight as I am writing this. Also, I have met a really nice guy.. well we haven't actually met in person.. I saw him on camera...

Lets just say.. it's been a long time since I met someone as "REAL" as he seems to be.. but as my Aunt always says; "Yeah, but what's the bad thing about him?" "Cause all men have that one fault that betray them eventually. Either they drink too much, have a temper, are druggies, tightwads, jealousy freaks, etc.."

Hmm.. I wonder what "nice guy's" thing is..

Hey now, at least I didn't end with something about "Him".