We Are Family

On my last post I vented on and on of how it has become with Sergio and myself...

Nothing has changed except that I have taken some time to think since I wrote that...

What if what you have, the people, the circumstances, the situations, the problems, the confusion, the moments of which come and go in spurts of Happy, Sad, Glad and Mad is how it should be?

How the world is right now is what you get and what you do with it is all up to you...

That's how I'm feeling tonight...

Did I honestly think that Sergio expected what we've become? Sensibly I know he didn't...

I think he had just as much hope as I had going into this relationship that it would be one that lasted...

We are responsible for our own outcome... Are we not? We Decide...

I live with a man who has already played the role of some one's husband... Such as I was once some one's wife...

Isn't it weird how you can go from being some one's supposedly forever mate in this lifetime, having that end and then start again with someone else...

How hard it is to carry on and begin again to a new relationship...

Let me just say that of course it is well known that I am Religiously Random...

Thoughts fly into my brain which when played out in my mind sound incredibly sane, yet when I try to express them in my life much less here, I shake my head at how pointless they seem...

Then again... What in this life has a point?

I know the certain Biggies in this lifetime we should be thankful for is;

Love, Hope, Health, Fulfillment, Purpose, Gratitude, Prosperity, and probably most of all, strength to endure...

We all just circulate our energies around this planet bumping into one another along the way...

I've met some incredible people...

The first memorable of course was my Mother... As I have said before, she was the first person I ever loved and hated...

When I say that, I mean that my first experience since being born of the ability to feel emotion was engaged onto her...

It's amazing just how many times I have said since she died, how much I wish I could spend just one more day with her... It wasn't until I had children of my own that I actually GOT IT... I understood...

Oh goodness I write and write for whatever reason... and yet on I go continuous with this meaningless babbling...

I am about to turn 40... My daughter just turned 13...

I wanted to be a novelist... She wants to be a movie star...

She has said it since she could talk... I have her on video when she was 4 years old...

When asked, "What are you going to be when you grow up?" "A Movie Stahhhh"... said exactly like that with her little voice not yet able to pronounce her R's... and she still feels the same almost ten years later...

Nowadays she makes little self-starring movies and uploads them to youtube...

She always talks about trying to find auditions near her home and send head shots to some agent willing to even take a glance at her photo...

I don't have the heart to discourage her by giving the speech of the "Millions who have the same goal as she"

It is her passion... I love her for it...

My son is 14... His passion is the military... He plans to join the Marines...

I'm not sure why... I love him for it as well...Though his career plans are a bit more realistic he chooses to me a more frightful journey...

I will not discourage it... I wish it were something more... or perhaps I wish it were something less...

It is a huge commitment to serve a country that hasn't been too kind in the past to their soldiers returning from fighting in other countries for our freedom...

Anyway...

Today I make the choice to continue exactly what I am doing these days...

I choose to try to make my relationship with Sergio better... Though I surely want to give up alot of times...

I choose to try and be grateful for all that I am given...

Most of all...

I am a much better person having been able to be chosen by others to be included in their lives...


May God's fruits of the spirit be blessed upon you...

Denise