Mother's Day

This year will mark the 13th Mother's Day year for me...

I'm trying to remember what any of them were like...

The "Ex" wasn't the type too much for going all out so let's just say that the holiday when the kids were real young was a very subdued one at best...

I told the kids when they got old enough that if they wanted to get me something that the best present would be a hand written letter...

I think I've gotten a few email cards and maybe store bought cards with a few words over the years and probably a few dinners out to a restaurant but That's all I can remember...

This year like on Wednesday before Mother's Day, The "Ex" sent me an email that said that he reminded the kids several times that Mother's Day was this Sunday and they needed to do something and if they didn't, to basically not bitch at him about it...

My Sara did write me a very pretty letter on Friday before they left for a weekend camping trip and because "they ran out of printing paper" she couldn't mail it and sent it by email instead...

I guess y'all are thinking I'm bitter... Nah, i figured as much and so I wrote each of them a letter to tell them how proud I am to be their mother and wanted to use the day as my time to tell them that, and mailed it to them this week...

Deep down maybe I'm a little hurt because I remember when it was my Mother's birthday or other holiday I'd go all out with as much as I could for her and I guess I'm sad that even though my kids aren't here for mother's day with me that at least they would do something more grander for me as the years go by and as they grow up... Nope... and that's OK...

You know what, it isn't really OK, I had the feelings earlier that maybe I should just forget their birthdays or valentine's day or even Christmas for them and see what they'd do...

Oh well, what can ya do? I really pray they don't go all out for "Step Ma" cause OMG I would be sooooo enraged with jealousy and I also hope that they aren't just selfish inconsiderate children who don't give a shit about anything having to do with anyone other than themselves and that's why they forget my birthday etc...

I am truly blessed to be a mother really and my children are such wonderful gifts from God so I shouldn't be complaining and I do feel guilty for having such thoughts...

The one thing that I do wish is that my mother was still here with me so I could do something for the day in her honor...

So, to all the Mother's who like me, don't have their kids around...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

and to my Mama, I miss you so much, and am so thankful for sharing in as many Mother's days as I could have with you...

God Bless...

Denise