Yep you read correctly, I am back...
I've only been away for 2 months but it seems like forever...
To update things in a quick summary, "S" moved to South Carolina and we are now together though he doesn't live in my house...
I'm not sure if or when that circumstance will change but for now I am happy with that...
He's been here for two weeks and except for his heavy smoking, things are good...
I have a lot of thoughts that I don't share with him because I kind of feel that my "life" doesn't really take any precedence over his especially at the moment with him trying to find a job here...
I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I don't have that crazy head over heels feeling for him that I feel like I should have... Sometimes I do... but most times I don't...
I know I've said it so many times about other guys and probably about him too... I think I actually discussed this with "S" and he told me it was because we were "ADULTS"
Well dang... man... If being an adult means you don't ever get to have that overwhelming immature gushy love thing going on then I don't really want to have anything to do with being an "ADULT"...
Anyway I need to get off of this gloomy stuff...
I am going to try really hard to find my coolness and true writing ability... If there is such...
In 8 days I will be 38 years old... UGHHHH... I haven't accomplished much but what I have done, I am glad for...
in short, my children...
Things are not good in that department and I don't want to go into it right now but hopefully will as I get back into the swing of writing my thoughts down on here.
I'm hoping that "S" won't find his way back here so that I can write in peace and not get scrutinized by everything I put down...
I think that was the major factor that made me stop writing in the first place though it was my own fault in telling him about this site...
That's all for now...
I hope I find my way back into your list of regularly read blogs...
Be well...
Denise
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