Women really shouldn't be held responsible for what they do or say during that "special time" of the month... For me, I wish I could just disappear off the planet for about a week because I always have to do some sort of damage control when I get back from "crazyville"...
I had been doing really good but this month I kinda went a little wacko on "married man"...
So you know I told him "let's take a break and it will let me clear my head" because I knew that the crazies were coming and if I didn't back away I was going to be using "married man" as my personal soundoff board... And so it was a few days passed, No contact... I sent the "unforgettable" song... No reply from that... Then I get an email from him Monday afternoon:
him: good afternoon
me: same to you
20 minutes pass... I'm having a heart attack waiting on him to confess his undying love for me because I mean come on, How can he go that long without jonesing to be with me?
Finally I can't stand it any longer...
me: so that's it huh?
him: just honoring your demand!
me: so I guess it doesn't matter that I miss you terribly and that no matter what I do you are always in my thoughts? It just hurts because I don't know if it is affecting you that we haven't looked, touched etc each other in what seems like forever...
him: sure it does, but you need to quit this flip flopping crap.. It drains me!
and that folks is where it hit me like a pile of bricks... HOW DARE THAT MUTHERFUCKER EXPRESS HIMSELF IN SUCH FEW WORDS, THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM... THIS IS ABOUT ME...
me: Nevermind, I shouldn't have said anything! Fuck you and your drain! <==hee hee
(I posted the hee hee because I wasn't that mad and it was kinda funny) How can I be so in love with such an unemotional human being? Have a great life!
I didn't receive a reply nor a read receipt and that pissed me off even more because he didn't think enough of me to stick around to see if I'd even respond to it...
As I left work on my way to the gym I was furious and knew that if he would be at the gym I was not going to stop... So I pulled into the lot, his SUV was not there... I walked to the girls locker room and to my utter frantic surprise, his ass was there on the weights... He looked right at me and when it registered that it was really him sitting there, I quickly started to turn around to walk out... He hollered out, "Hey, come here girl"... Which I ignored and hauled ass out of there... Did I hear anything from him? Nope, Did he call? Email, anything to find out what was wrong? NOPE... but yesterday morning when he got that final email from me I guess he figured it out... his reply to it?
him: Otay!
That's it y'all.... All these months, all this time wasted... A fucking OTAY!
I started crying and called him and whined on his voice mail...
I just got your email and I'm sorry because I thought you cared for me as much as I cared for you... You always mentioned fun and games so I guess I shouldn't be surprised... Click...
Of course nothing from him, I doubt seriously if I'll be hearing from him again...
At lunch today I was outside and saw him across the lot... I watched him for a while and I know he saw me but he basically looked right through me...
I'm in agony but he's relieved probably that he is rid of me...
Because afterall, I'm nothing but a "DRAIN"... Right?
Great Day to ya... Denise
ps: "d" emailed me a song: "Champion"... I guess it's his way of saying, "Ok Denise, you win!"... He called me here at work this morning and get this shit: "Well, I just called to tell you I was in town today, thought you might want to get together but obviously you are ignoring me but that's fine".. Click...
I thought for a moment that I'd continue to ignore him and then I said fuck it, Lemme play his game and I called him back fully intending to call his bluff saying how wonderful that he was in town and that I wanted to see him and have lunch etc... because I know good and damn well he was only doing that to fuck with me and sure enough he didn't answer his phone... THAT BOY IS REALLY SICK!!! Thank you Jesus he is out of my head and heart forever never to return...
later!
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