Not quite as somber as the last post but probably equally as boring. To which I apologize ahead of time for anyone glancing it over.

Well, I broke down and contacted him by text tonight. Ya know that feeling you get when you've done something you wish you didn't do? That tightening in the chest, Yeah that one.. Immediately started when I hit send on the cell phone. I wanted to have this "OH I AM NOT THINKING OF YOU ONE BIT" attitude.. Didn't work.

The hardest part was trying to telepathically climb into his brain and imagine what his initial reaction was to it. All I said was "weak moment: do you ever think about me?" Of course all I thought about was whether or not he'd respond. (He usually doesn't just so you know how pathetic my attempts of maintaining some sort of cosmic connection with him are.)

Anyway, after what seemed like hours but was only about 10 minutes, I received the always wonderful.. oh thank god... HE DOES LOVE ME ...vibration of the cell phone to alert me that I had a text message.... Considering I work an hour and a half away from my house I am in constant ponderment mode when I am trekking home. Tonight was no different. Which was the whole reasoning behind texting him in the first place. Thinking.. driving.. thinking.. driving.. sending.. hoping...

Yeah yeah I know... you want to know what he said. Hold your horses.. wait.. hold your horses? Where the hell did that saying come from anyway? Hey do you notice I use elipses's alot? Man I hope I spelled that right. "smile" His response was............. "Sure. Hope u r well. i'm ok." Now if I could just analyze the shit out of that for a moment if ya please. This tells me that


1) he put sure and meant it sarcastically as he shook his head with "oh lord let this girl disappear!" and
2) He knew not to say "How are you" because then I might friggin text back. and
3) I didn't even ask him if he was ok which he figured he better post or else I might send a second helping of fonts and ask him if he was.

As I sit here this moment.. He isn't "ok" in my book .. How does a relationship come to this point after it being so intimate and soulmated? Iiiii don't know!!! oh wait yes I do. Those are the adjectives only I felt during this time of "us". Wonder what his adjectives were?